That's Fugged Up

This Gives Us Hope.

2012-03-06T10:43:00.002-05:00

With rumors running rampant that 'Jersey Shore's' Snooki is expecting to drop the calf; now comes evidence that she's her man liked her enough to put a ring on it. This gives us hope because if an Umpa Lumpa like Snooki ookums can get a man to propose...can't we all?

Tell Us How You Really Feel Patricia Heaton

2012-03-06T10:38:00.000-05:00

We always second-guessed why Patricia Heaton received so many accolades for her role on 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. We never found her an ounce bit funny, she just always came off as an angry shrew. Turns out the role wasn't such a stretch for her because over the years, her true colors have come shining through...she's just a grade A BI ATCH. Just read this transcript from a recent Twitter rant towards a Georgetown student (which she's since apologized for).

NEW! The 'Men In Black 3' Trailer

2012-03-06T10:21:00.001-05:00

Peep the brand spanking new trailer for this summer's 'Men In Black 3' which reunites Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones...along with Josh Brolin playing a younger version of Jones' character.

Bacon 'Grease'

2012-03-06T09:05:00.002-05:00

We're pretty sure it wasn't Paula Deen who coined the phrase "bacon makes it better"; but we doubt whoever did had THIS in mind. J&D's Foods have created the world's first bacon-flavored personal lubricant and massage oil.

Baconlube retails for $11.99 per bottle or $59.99 per six-pack (for the overindulgent guy or gal on the go). It is NOT recommended for use with condoms and we wouldn't use it to fry up our morning eggs either. If you're interested, you can buy it right HERE.

Bonus STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-03-06T01:25:00.001-05:00

Fourteen years after the premier of their 1998 super-hit song 'The Boy Is Mine', pop stars Brandy and Monica have collaborated on the song 'It All Belongs To Me'...and now we have a video. Enjoy!

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-03-06T00:17:00.002-05:00

"Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either." -- Golda Meir

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-03-06T00:09:00.001-05:00

'It's Amazing' is not only the title of this clip by the gorgeous singer JEM, it also perfectly describes the song. The song is lifted from her 2008 album 'Down To Earth' and was also featured on the 'Sex And The City' movie soundtrack. Enjoy.

We're Still Trying To Make This Happen?

2012-03-05T15:12:00.001-05:00

Real Housegolddiggingwhore of Atlanta Kim Zolciak somehow found time in her busy wig-wearing schedule and filming 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and her follow-up spinoff series to get back in the studio and record a new song.

It may not be as timeless and classic as her 'breakthrough' fuckery of a song 'Tardy For The Party', but Kim has dug deep into her soul to embrace being a new mom again and poured her heart into the crapfest that is 'Love Me First'. This is only a snippet of the new song, but it's already 56 seconds too long. Clutch your pearls and clench your teeth cuz your ears are gonna hurt from hearing this bitch crow.

Is This Bitch Serious?

2012-03-05T10:50:00.001-05:00

German designer Iris Schieferstein has decided to move fashion further into the field of fuckery by producing a line of stilettos made from actual animal hooves. Granted we're aware that most shoes are made from animal skins; but the real crime here is how fucking ugly they are. This are the kinda shoes that SHOULD get stuck in the mud. We're sure PETA will be calling in 4...3...2...

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-03-05T10:03:00.002-05:00

“Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped” -- African Proverb

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-03-05T10:02:00.002-05:00

We were HUGE fans of honesty and simple beauty of British singer Corinne Bailey Rae's self-titled debut album back in 2006 and the song 'Seasons Change' is one of the main reasons for this. Enjoy.

BIBLES SAVES LIVES.

2012-03-04T16:43:00.000-05:00

From the strange and weird fact file.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-03-04T16:41:00.000-05:00

"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." -- Sam Brown

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-03-04T16:38:00.001-05:00

Nothing like a relaxing Sunday spent revisiting the classics. Here's a blast from the past (1984) - The Cars' 'Who's Gonna Drive You Home?'

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-03-02T05:30:00.000-05:00

"It is well to give when asked but it is better to give unasked, through understanding." -- Kahlil Gibran

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-03-02T05:25:00.000-05:00

Jennifer Hudson is bringing some MAJOR swagger to her new collaboration with Ne-Yo and Rick Ross. The track is called 'Think Like A Man' and it's lifted from the soundtrack to the upcoming movie of the same name. Ch Ch Check it out...

LISTEN UP! Norah Jones 'Happy Pills'

2012-03-01T13:37:00.001-05:00

Nora Jones is BACK bitches...and for the first time she's not boring us to tears. Here's the first single lifted from her upcoming album 'Little Broken Hearts', the Danger Mouse produced song 'Happy Pills'. Enjoy.

The Taylor Swift Effect

2012-03-01T12:20:00.001-05:00

This is what happens (or should happen) when you listen to the music of Taylor Swifterwetjet. Giggity Giggity.

Stunt Queen.

2012-03-01T11:58:00.000-05:00

Beyonce has been out n' about with her two month old daughter Blue Ivy Carter (BIC for short...and it stays). Last weekend the proud mama went for lunch at Sant Ambroeus in NYC's West Village and according to an observer (her publicist) Beyonce whipped out a tidday and breast-fed her little girl at the table, this is according to Us Weekly. Two additional sources (Tina Knowles and Jay-Z) confirm to Us that the first-time mom has been breastfeeding her daughter. Nice try, but our conspiracy theory about a surrogate stays.

WATCH THIS: Santigold 'Disparate Youth'

2012-03-01T11:45:00.002-05:00

Peep the new video from Philly artist Santigold. The track is called 'Disparate Youth' and it's lifted from her upcoming sophomore album 'Master Of My Make Believe' which drops May 1. WE LOVE.

Get More: Santigold, Disparate Youth, Music, More Music Videos

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-03-01T05:57:00.000-05:00

"Waste not fresh tears over old griefs." -- Euripides

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-03-01T01:31:00.000-05:00

Beyonce singing a song written by her sister Solange Knowles in a terrific video. It fits our mood so enjoy it.

THAT'S HAWT.

2012-02-29T17:38:00.001-05:00

Peep the just released second trailer for this summer's HIGHLY anticipated 'The Avengers'. MAY are you here yet?

LISTEN UP! Amanda Mair 'Sense'

2012-02-29T14:03:00.001-05:00

Let us familiarize you with 18 year old Swedish singer Amanda Mair. We're digging her sound, lyrics and voice so we're happy she just released her self-titled debut album. Peep the video for her first single 'Sense' right here:

R.I.P. Davy Jones

2012-02-29T13:25:00.004-05:00

Davy Jones of 'The Monkees' has passed away from a heart attack at the age of 66. Davey was hot shit back in the day and not to long ago he revisited his glory days by making a cameo in 'The Brady Bunch Movie' which parodied his cameo in the original series. R.I.P. Davy.

Listen Up! Tevo Howard feat. Tracey Thorn 'Without Me'

2012-02-29T13:13:00.002-05:00

EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL'S Tracy Thorn provides the vocals on Tevo Howard's stunning new house track 'Without Me'. All the remixes are amazeballs, but this is the only one available for purchase at present time on Beatport.com. Tracey's voice can do no wrong; WE ARE IN LOVE.

NEW! Madonna 'Girld Gone Wild (Justin Cognito Mix)'

2012-02-29T13:07:00.002-05:00

Producer Justin Cognito has served up what we believe is a far superior mix of Madonna's new single 'Girl Gone Wild'. Ch Ch Check it out....

Dear God, NO.

2012-02-29T11:05:00.000-05:00

Both the New York Post and People Magazine (being SUCH reliable sources) are reporting that our favorite little Umpa Lumpa Snooki is indeed pregnant. The rumors started up a couple months ago, to which Snooki issued a statement denying the birth of yet another stupid orange child (Kourtenaaaaay Kuntrashian's spawn being the other one).

Looks as if it was her man-piece Jionni LaValle, who implanted his seed in her belly bout three months ago. According to 'inside sources', MTV is freakin out because this will ruin their plans for the Snooki/JWoww spinoff series which is to start filming next month. With a show roster that already includes multiple seasons of '16 And Pregnant' and 'Teen Mom', they need partying NOT paternity from their cash cow characters. We really hope this isn't true, what the world needs now i love, sweet love...NOT more stupid people.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-29T06:41:00.000-05:00

"The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money." -- David Richerby

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-29T06:35:00.000-05:00

Belgian-Australian singer GOTYE has finally gotten some attention due to his single 'Somebody That I Used To Know' and it's numerous YouTube tribute cover versions. His latest album 'Making Mirrors' has firmly made it's mark in the Billboard top 20. In an effort to familiarize you further with this talented artist, here's one of our favorite songs 'Hearts A Mess' which is found on his first album 'Like Drawing Blood'.

THAT'S HAWT.

2012-02-28T13:28:00.001-05:00

Peep the just released promotional poster for this summer's highly anticipated movie 'The Avengers'. WE CAN'T WAIT.

The NEW Cast of 'Dancing with the Stars'

2012-02-28T10:36:00.001-05:00

Season 14 of 'Dancing with the Stars' is upon us and ABC has just announced the cast of has-beens, also-rans and never-wases. Personally we're rooting for hottie William Levy. He's a supermodel most known for appearing in JLo's 'So Into You'...but you can see more revealing (NSFW) pics after the jump. Here's the cast, followed by some Levy luvin'.

Jack Wagner ('General Hospital', 'Melrose Place')
Melissa Gilbert (Laura Ingalls, 'Little House on the Prairie')
Donald Driver (Green Bay Packers all-time leading receiver)
William Levy (HOT piece model)
Sherri Shepherd (co-host of “The View”)
Katherine Jenkins (opera star) - WHO?
Gavin DeGraw (singer)
Martina Navratilova (tennis legend)
Roshon Fegan (Disney star) - WHO?
Maria Menounos (TV host)
Jaleel White, URKEL! (star of “Family Matters”)
Gladys Knight (soul music legend, ~~sans Pimps~~ Pips)

I say we just hand over the trophy to hot piece William Levy. I mean look at him:

and here is is in the JLo video:

and here he is in some NSFW modeling photos:

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-28T10:03:00.002-05:00

"Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing." -- William Shakespeare

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-28T09:58:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe that THE PRETENDERS' 'Back on the Chain Gang' is freakin THIRTY years old. But we still love it...and so should you because the lyrics are not only amazeballs, but timeless. Enjoy.

MAD MEN Season 5

2012-02-27T13:33:00.001-05:00

We're merely four weeks away from the long-delayed and highly anticipated fifth season premier of AMC's 'Mad Men'. Peep the new promo art and video clips for it's debut on Sunday, March 25. We can't wait.

Live Tyler Sings?

2012-02-27T13:20:00.003-05:00

Peep this newly released video of actress Liv Tyler covering INXS' 'Need You Tonight' for a 'Givenchy' promotional clip. With Aerosmith's Steven Tyler being her daddy, Liv surely has a few ounces of musical DNA flowing through those gorgeous looks. But we're finding the visual much hotter than her this electrofried version of a classic song. Thoughts?

Harpo, Who Dis Woman?

2012-02-27T12:44:00.004-05:00

For a second we thought it was Megan Fox. Katy Perry has never EVER looked hotter than she does on the cover of this month's 'Interview' magazine. We dunno if it's the photoshop, hair, makeup or vaseline on the lens; but for once she's not dressed up like 'Rainbow Brite' and we think THAT'S HAWT.

NEW! Madonna 'Girl Gone Wild'

2012-02-27T12:34:00.003-05:00

Here' the second single from Madonna's forthcoming album 'MDNA' which is due March 26. Check out 'Girls Gone Wild'...

Tighten Up Down There.

2012-02-27T11:29:00.000-05:00

We came across this freaky Japanese infomercial for some kinda pelvic stimulator/hobby horse. Whatever the case, this shiz is all the more funny because we can't understand a fucking word. Just watch and laugh.

Listen Up! Rebecca Ferguson 'Take Care'

2012-02-27T10:50:00.002-05:00

We're starting to believe that EVERY cover of Drake and Rihanna's 'Take Care' trumps the original. Here's British singer Rebecca Ferguson's powerful cover of the track performed live this past weekend in Oxford, UK.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-27T06:51:00.000-05:00

"Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records." -- William A. Ward

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-27T06:48:00.000-05:00

Peep the stunning film noir black and white clip for MAJIKER's latest single 'When The Fire Becomes My Name'. The track is taken from his latest album 'The House Of Bones'.

The 2012 OSCAR Winners

2012-02-26T23:56:00.000-05:00

And the Oscars go to…

Best Picture: The Artist

Best Actor: Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Best Actress: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Short Film (Animated): The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

Short Film (Documentary): Saving Face

Short Film (Live Action): The Shore

Writing (Original Screenplay): Midnight In Paris

Writing (Adapted Screenplay): The Descendants

Music (Original Song): “Man Or Muppet,” The Muppets

Music (Original Score): The Artist

Visual Effects: Hugo

Animated Feature: Rango

Documentary Feature: Undefeated

Sound Mixing: Hugo

Sound Editing: Hugo

Film Editing: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Makeup: The Iron Lady

Costume Design: The Artist, Mark Bridges

Art Direction: Hugo

Cinematography: Hugo

On A Night Like This

2012-02-25T11:54:00.001-05:00

Kylie Minogue has dedicated 2012 as a celebration of her 25 years in the music industry. As part of that celebration, she's decided to re-release some of her greatest hits by re-recording them in an epically orchestral way all recorded at the legendary Abby Road Studios. A few weeks back we saw 'Finer Feelings' and today we present to you 'On A Night Like This'. Enjoy.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-25T07:48:00.000-05:00

"A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present." -- Thomas Fuller

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-25T07:09:00.000-05:00

We've kinda developed a bit of an obsession with Canadian singer GRIMES (born Claire Boucher) and her ethereal sounding voice. Here's a live recording of her song 'Genesis'. Get into it!

TRANNY HOE.

2012-02-24T14:32:00.001-05:00

Meet TRANNY MINAJ. She's aiming to be the next big viral video on YouTube with a parody of Nicki Minaj's 'Stupid Hoe'. It's funny AND disturbing on many levels.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-24T07:57:00.000-05:00

"One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -- Andre Gide

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-24T07:43:00.000-05:00

It's been 4 years since Philadelphia singer SANTIGOLD dropped her debut album so it's due time for her to serve up some new music. Peep the eighties centric ghetto fabulous video for 'Big Mouth', the lead single from her forthcoming sophomore album.

Harpo, Who Dis Woman?

2012-02-23T13:09:00.000-05:00

This is none other than Katy Perry in character for her guest appearance on FOX's 'Raising Hope'. The pop singer whose latest single 'Part of Me' debuted at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 will be playing role of a prison attendant.

Zac Efron Swears by the Trojan

2012-02-23T12:47:00.002-05:00

Pretty Pretty Princess AKA Zac Efron walked the red carpet last night at the premier of 'The Lorax' doing his best 'Zoolander' smoldering for the cameras. In the middle of his smizing session and greeting his fans, something popped out of his pants...a condom. There it was a gold foil wrapped rubber on the red carpet...and Zac trying to play it cool simultaneously proving what a horrible actor he is. By the way, tt appears to be a Trojan and even God rolled his eyes in disbelief that Zefron would even need a Trojan.

One could assume that this was a publicity stunt since his career has gone impotent since the High School Musical franchise closed up shop. If it was, then it was a lame attempt. We think he either needs to come out as gay OR make a sex tape with his 'Lorax' co-star Taylor Swifterwetjet. Just sayin!

We're Still Trying To Make THIS Happen?

2012-02-23T12:10:00.001-05:00

Little Ms. Slutshine AKA Paris Hilton threw her hat in the ring to be a for realz recording artist a few years back and even at the peak of her popularity, the "music" fell on deaf ears. So it's surprising to see that she's not only been trying to hone her craft as a for realz DJ (yes you read that right) but she's also gone back into the studio to create another round of ear fuckery.

Here's the first collaboration with Canadian DJ duo Manufactured Superstars to pave the way for her 'comeback'. The track is called 'Drunk Text' and it's officially billed as Manufactured Superstars featuring Paris Hilton.

Paris Hilton w/ Manufactured Superstars - "Drunk Text" from Todd Banhazl on Vimeo.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-23T07:41:00.000-05:00

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." -- Bertrand Russell

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-23T07:40:00.000-05:00

When FEIST released her album 'Metals' last year, we were immediately drawn to the track 'The Bad In Each Other'. The hauntingly honest song has some of the best and most profound lyrics we've heard in recent memory. Enjoy the video and lose yourself in the beauty of Feist's music.

Wendy Williams Got Served By Aunt Viv

2012-02-22T12:32:00.000-05:00

This shit is truly one of those 'Tell Us How You Really Feel' occasions. You may (or may not) remember Janet Hubert as the original 'Aunt Viv' on the 90s sitcom 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'. Janet got fired from the show because of her hate-hate relationship with Will Smith, something that still has her pissed off to this day. Homegirl knows how to hold a grudge cuz just a couple months ago, she pretty much called Big Willie Styles a steaming pile of shit.

Now that we're all caught up; Janet has yapped off at the mouth again in the form of an open letter to talk-show host Wendy Williams placing some of the responsibility in the death of music legend Whitney Houston right up under Wendy's weave. Here's what Aunt Viv has to say:

Dear Wendy,

This past weekend was a very difficult time for so many of us.

Though I never knew Whitney Houston, I felt a profound sense of loss and sadness. On Sunday morning I took my dog for a walk in the park across the street and still could not shake the sadness I felt. I wondered if what I was feeling was perhaps related to losing my mother and brother this past year, but then I thought no, it was something else.

I watched the funeral service with the rest of the world, and cried time and time again with each story that was told. I felt like I knew more about this amazing woman than ever before. We all watched her as a little girl, center stage, singing like a bird, she was destined for superstardom. To watch her center stage full circle in death was a feeling no mother should ever have to feel. I applaud Ms. Warwick, the pastor, and all others who formed a police line of love and protection around her that was impenetrable only to those who really knew her. We, the public accepted their decision to keep it private, but they allowed us to witness her Home Going ceremony, I don’t know if I could have been so gracious. WE felt like we knew her and we knew nothing about her except what we read and hear from people like you and other media outlets. I listened to her interview with you and was compelled to say out loud. “Go on Whitney tell her like it is,” when you pried into her life back then. I had my son in the same year as Ms. Houston; we did Ebony Magazine that same year, she introducing her baby girl and me my son. I am trying to be dignified, but here goes.

The Internet has become somewhat like the 10 commandments, and this is why… whatever is posted or commented on… is forever written in stone. Neither I nor anybody can stop anyone from making up stories, reviews, lies etc, cutting and pasting whatever they decide to put together like a bad buffet breakfast.I have had some horrible meals shoved down my throat on the web that I had no parts of.

I still have a bad taste in my mouth from a recent cut and paste meal from your beloved TMZ (THE MUDSLINGING ZONE). I believe you said once “If you heard it on TMZ then it must be true,” really Wendy?The Internet is indeed the information highway, but it can also be “a Forum of Hate.”

You said that morning with tears in your eyes, that you would not discuss Whitney any further, but you crucified her the whole time she was alive, as you do so many people on your show. I want to ask you why? What do you get out of this besides money?

How do you sleep at night knowing that you are one of the biggest bullies in the world disguised as HOT TOPICS? Celebrities are not topics we are people, just like everyone else, we hurt and we hear and we bleed real blood, not fake blood, just as you do.

How do we as parents teach our children to honor each other, treat each other with kindness when all they see are images of people like you who condone and promote meanness, rude reality TV stars, and your opinion as you berate world renowned people like Janet Jackson, Gwyneth Paltrow, and others you slam on a daily basis.

I keep asking myself why no one is saying anything about this. What the hell are they afraid of? Where are my sisters out there who feel as I do?Well Wendy, I try to teach my son to stand up, shout, and scream when there is injustice. Yeah yeah, I know, I have been screaming for years and will continue to do so as long as there are images that depict black women as neck shaking, over bearing women who can’t get along.

A sister, a mother, a daughter, a star, left this world way too early; she was loved by the world. The world mourned, I don’t think that we needed you to try and take down another brilliant sister on that following Monday morning. (Your rude comments about Janet Jackson)

You started right back up without hesitation or pause… you need to stop Wendy. We need to stop, and the world needs to stop. I need to stop as well. There will be no more quotes from me to be misquoted. We need to join together, wrap our arms around our children, everybody’s children.

Remember you have a child who will suffer every slingshot and arrow that gets thrown back at you Wendy; our public lives greatly affect our children.I know I am going to suffer some arrows for writing this letter to you, I know you are loved by many, but remember this Wendy; they love you when you are up and they love to take you down. You will not always be up, you will not always be on the A list and attend all the parties. Ride the wave sister girl, but make sure you know how to swim when the ride is over. Artists are survivors, we work hard to build our crafts and careers and I ask that you simply remember that in the future.

I’m just sayin’ it like l mean it too.

Janet Hubert

Adam Levine Uses 'The Money Shot' For Birth Control

2012-02-22T11:52:00.002-05:00

We're starting to think that while Adam Levine is sexy, he's also a bit stupid. Although he's a musician, when it comes to birth control he doesn't use the equally impractical 'rhythm method', Adam prefers to 'pull-out' of Eve.

While OVER-sharing the deets on his relationship and sex life with Howard Stern, Adam yapped off at revealing that he uses “a fool-proof birth-control system,” the pull-out method.
“I didn’t start a band to get girls,” Adam said with a laugh. “I stayed in the band to get girls.”

He's kinda playing Russian roulette with his life and his health; and if so, keep that shit to yourself because there still alot of unwanted pregnancies in the world and we don't want to be sending the wrong message to the encouragable (and irresponsible).

As for his Boo, she probably wouldn't mind having a little baby-friend; it means a check every month for the next 18 years (which is alot longer than the relationship will last). Hey, if it's not makin dollaz, it's not making sense.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-22T07:29:00.000-05:00

"You ought to expect better of people. It encourages you to be a better person yourself." -- Jeph Jacques

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-22T07:28:00.000-05:00

Peep the video for Swedish band Miike Snow's first single from their highly anticipated upcoming sophomore album. The track is called 'Paddling Out' and we could absolutely spend all day swimming in their music.

My Weekly With MariMAN

2012-02-21T18:43:00.000-05:00

'Mob ~~Husband~~ Wives' breakout star Big Ang ditched auditioning for 'RuPaul's Drag Race' to grace us wish ~~his~~ her beauty on the cover of NYC's popular gay mag 'NEXT' posing as Marilyn Monroe.

The look she's going for isn't the 'demure look'; she's just hiding the fact that one of her balls became 'untucked'. We still love her, we love the fact that her voice is deeper than James Earl Jones, we just plain LOVE it!

Listen Up! Santigold 'Disparate Youth'

2012-02-21T12:29:00.003-05:00

We're mere months away from the release of Philadelphia artist Santigold's sophomore album. Her first self-titled album was amazeballs and expectations are high for it's follow-up. Here's her new single 'Disparate Youth', which is now available on iTunes.

Fiona Apple Spring Tour

2012-02-21T12:20:00.001-05:00

If you love and miss Fiona Apple as much as we do...you're in luck. Ahead of her highly anticipated new album (her first in SEVEN years), Fiona has scheduled a short tour for March with more dates to follow. No official date has been released for the album, but sources say we should expect it by mid-spring.

Here are the dates for Fiona Apple's March tour:

March 19: Chicago, Ill. (Lincoln Hall)
March 21: Washington D.C. (TBA)
March 23: Brooklyn, N.Y. (Music Hall of Williamsburg)
March 24: Atlantic City, N.J. (TBA)
March 26: New York, N.Y. (Bowery Ballroom)
March 27: Boston, Mass. (Royale Boston)

DUMB BITCH.

2012-02-21T12:15:00.001-05:00

The UK's Michael Harper learned a few lessons recently. The first being that if you steal shit and get caught - you're going to jail. The second being that if you're gonna be a thief - be a smart thief. Which leads us to the third; it's not a good idea to take a piss on an electricity transformer during said theft.

You see Michael rowed his boat ashore over to a power plant to steal some copper wiring. Mid-theft, he decides to take a tinkle ON a power transformer. Needless to say, Mikey saw the light when a portion of his dumb ass exploded (we can only guess what portion), permanently disfiguring himself, knocking out electricity to approximately 2000 homes, being arrested and sentenced to one year in prison.

The real crime here isn't his foiled theft...but his stupidity.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-21T07:01:00.000-05:00

"You will need to find your passion. Don't give up on finding it because then all you're doing is waiting for the Reaper." -- Randy Pausch

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-21T07:00:00.000-05:00

We're bringing new music to you from the Portland band MINT JULEP. The song is lifted from their 2011 album 'Save Your Season'. It's a cool clip...but you may get motion sickness from the jumpiness of it.

Is This Bitch Serious?

2012-02-20T14:36:00.000-05:00

The Possum doth protest too much. Michelle Duggar and her husband are the parents of 19 (that's NINETEEN!) children and counting. They're spiritual soul mates and believe in sharing that love by having a new baby friend do the luge out of her vagina pretty much every year. We don't even know how Mr.Duggar feels anything anymore when they're having sexytimes; it's gotta be kinda like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Now Mrs.Duggar (no slave to fashion OR sanity), has set feminism back about 100 years by yapping off at the mouth to the media saying in a roundabout way that the key to keeping a man is 'knowing your place'. Hey, if we had a litter of 19 running around yelling and screaming, we've have a case of the crazies too, so we'll take these excerpts from Michelle's verbal diarrhea with a grain of salt.

* A Husband Needs A Wife Who Accepts Him As A Leader And Believes In His God-Given Responsibilities”: Husbands are commanded to govern their wives; God works through a man’s decisions — good or bad; Bad decisions reveal his needs and allow the wife to appeal and demonstrate Godly character; The more a wife trusts her husband, the more careful he will be in giving her direction; Never ask others for counsel without your husband’s approval; reassure your husband that you understand and believe that he is your God-given leader.

* A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty: How can you become more of the wife of your husband’s dreams?; discover and conform to your husband’s real wishes; explain your hairstyle to others on the basis of your submission to your authority; separate your “rights” from your responsibilities.

* Ask your husband to define your responsibilities; Ask your husband to tell you when you have a resistant spirit; dispel a backbiting tongue by silence.

Listen Up! Freedom or Death 'This Crowded Room'

2012-02-20T11:48:00.002-05:00

We are totally loving the song 'This Crowded Room' from Canadian band FREEDOM OR DEATH. Beautiful, haunting, lyrics layered over minimalist acapellas and modern electronic beats and percussion. Give a listen...

...and here's 'Inside'

The Cosby Obama Show

2012-02-20T11:10:00.001-05:00

With Maya Rudolph hosting last weekend's episode of 'Saturnday Night Live'; the show delivered some of it's funniest sketches of the season. We loved her Beyonce impersonation; but this one in which she parodies first lady Michelle Obama AND the classic television series 'The Cosby Show' had us laughing our ass off. Giggity Giggity.

NAKED at Walmart

2012-02-20T10:57:00.000-05:00

Picture it: You've put on your Sunday best and gone to Walmart to pick up supplies for the house. Twelve-pack of Bounty paper towels? check, leopard print Snuggie? check? pack of tube socks by Hanes? ch....wait, what the fuck is that? It's a fully naked 300 pound man roaming the socks and underwear aisle.

This bitch is either crazy, drunk or stupid. The phrase "go big or go home" certainly applies, but if you're gonna make an ass outta yourself...at least aim higher than SOCKS. Shit, we'd have more respect for him if he was trying to sneak out with a 60" HDTV; lord knows he had room to hide it.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-20T07:55:00.000-05:00

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." -- Mark Twain

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-20T07:51:00.000-05:00

Peep the schizophrenic new video for 'Look Around' from the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS newest album 'I'm With You'. Anthony Kiedis and Flea still know how to rock it out...and bring the zexy.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-19T16:52:00.003-05:00

"Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action." -- Napoleon Hill

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-19T16:49:00.000-05:00

'Saturday Night Live' brilliantly spoofed Beyonce, Jay Z and their newborn messiah Blue Ivy Carter (we call her BIC for short). It's funny, because it's believable. Enjoy!

Brandy + Monica LIVE!

2012-02-17T10:39:00.001-05:00

R&B princesses Brandy and Monica brought their swagger to Leno last night performing together on stage for the first time in over a decade. Peep this performance of their new single 'It All Belongs To Me', due to appear on both artist's solo albums due this spring. It's NO 'The Boy Is Mine' but the performance still warms our heart.

2122173143 by YardieGoals

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-17T05:47:00.000-05:00

"Choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not let them be imposed upon you." -- Lord Chesterfield

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-17T05:17:00.000-05:00

To this day, our favorite Mariah Carey song EVER...is the song 'Vanishing' which appeared on her self-titled debut album. We uncovered this rare live performance of the song that was filmed back in 1990. Hard to believe the song is 22 years old, but it still grabs us by the gut. Enjoy.

NEW! Jason Mraz 'I Won't Give Up' Video Premier

2012-02-16T12:39:00.002-05:00

Peep the Jason Mraz's beautiful video for his newest (and equally beautiful) song 'I Won't Give Up'. WE LOVE.

Get More: Jason Mraz, I Won't Give Up, I Won't Give Up, Free Music Videos

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-16T05:44:00.000-05:00

"Treasure the love you have received above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished." -- Og Mandino

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-16T05:41:00.000-05:00

We're head over heels in love with UK singer Emeli Sandé and after finally hearing her debut album 'Our Version of Events', we feel 100% justified. It's an emotionally epic masterpiece. 'Daddy' is the second single lifted from the album that was released in the UK earlier this week, but won't be released here in the USA until later this year. Enjoy.

I Swear She's Smuggling BALLS

2012-02-15T15:34:00.001-05:00

We gotta admit that 'Mob Wives' is one of our guilty pleasures. And the reason for this is because of the stunning vision of womanhood that is Big Ang. We're almost certain that this is what Steven Tyler does during his hiatus from judging 'American Idol'. She's hilarious, she's big, and she's got breasts bigger than your head.

To showcase her sense of refinement, Big Ang hopped on over to US Magazine where she put her 'acting' skills on display by reciting lines from 'Masterpiece Classic Downton Abbey'. We don't know whether to laugh or pee ourself.

NEW! Roisin Murphy & David Morales 'Golden Era'

2012-02-15T15:12:00.005-05:00

We haven't had an album from Roisin Murphy in almost 5 years, so we're ecstatic that she's back on the scene in this brand spankin new collaboration with the legendary DJ David Morales. WE LOVE.

<object height="81" width="100%"><param name="movie" value="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F36703050&g=1"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed allowscriptaccess="always" height="81" src="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F36703050&g=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"></embed></object><span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/hardcandymusic/roisin-murphy-david-morales">Roisin Murphy + David Morales: Golden Era</a> by <a href="http://soundcloud.com/hardcandymusic">hardcandymusic</a></span>

THIS BITCH.

2012-02-15T15:06:00.005-05:00

Chris Shit Brown is clearly still hanging on to his anger because he can't keep his yap shut or his fingers off the Twitter. He may have performed at the Grammys and even won an award, but his people treated him with kid gloves not allowing him to walk the red carpet or conduct ANY interviews before, during or after the show. We love that he's still playing the victim for something that he thinks happened sooooo long ago (2009) and the world is wrong for not loving him. He posted this love letter to his fans and haters showing a sign of real personal growth and maturity.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Guess what Chris? We didn't like you before you abused your girlfriend or when you won the Grammy and we really don't like you now. So perhaps you should shut your fuckery down. We hope the next time your beat up a woman someone knocks your teeth out with the Grammy before shoving it all the way up your ass.

Chris Shit Brown's handywork and the recently released police report from the night of his fallout with Rihanna:

“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.
“A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.
“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.
“Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the sh– out of you when we get home! You wait and see!’
” The detective said “Robyn F.” then used her cell phone to call her personal assistant Jennifer Rosales, who did not answer.
“Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, ‘I’m on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.’ After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’
“Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in [an] attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown.
“Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps (sic) that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.
“Robyn F. then attempted to send a text message to her other personal assistant, Melissa Ford. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window onto an unknown street.
“Brown continued driving and Robyn F. observed his cellular telephone sitting in his lap. She picked up the cellular telephone with her left hand and before she could make a call he placed her in a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.
“Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of 333 North June Street and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it.
“Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.
“She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her. While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.
“Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F.’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F. was issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order.”

NEW! Lil Kim 'If You Love Me'

2012-02-15T12:43:00.002-05:00

Lil Kim has dropped a brand spanking new single lifted from her forthcoming album. The track is called 'If You Love Me' ...and you know what? it's refreshing to hear Kim again.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-15T05:35:00.000-05:00

"The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it." -- Bill Nye

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-15T05:30:00.000-05:00

Meet Kimbra. She's a New Zealand born singer/songwriter who released her debut album 'Vows' overseas earlier this year. We're getting a taste of her sooner rather than later because her label decided to test the waters Stateside by releasing her first EP on iTunes. Love her voice, her face and her lyrics. Give a listen to her live in studio performance of 'Two Way Street'

NEW! Usher 'Climax'

2012-02-14T14:47:00.000-05:00

The first single from USHER'S upcoming album leaked mere hours ago and as the title suggests, he's bringing zexy back. It's lyrically a booty call throwback track, but with very 'now' production. Yet it's refreshing that he strayed away from the thump-thump electro that EVERYONE seems to be following. Give it a listen...

Tell Us How You Really Feel Chaka Khan

2012-02-14T10:36:00.001-05:00

Chaka Khan is NOT pleased with the way in wish Clive Davis and the rest of the music industry chose to party it up in the on the same night, in the same hotel in which music legend Whitney Houston passed away...while her body was STILL in the building three flights above.

Additionally they rushed a tribute for the Grammy Awards the following night for which Chaka was tapped to participate and strongly declined. Here's what Chaka had to see on last night's Pier Morgan show.

NEW! Nicki Minaj 'Starships'

2012-02-14T10:23:00.000-05:00

After leaking four BLAH singles and that HOT MESS of a Grammy Awards performance, Nicki Minaj decided to release something a bit more radio friendly from her upcoming new album. We're not sold...it's kinda got that generic electro sound EVERYONE is doing now. YAWN, it's discount NOTSO-Superbass.

Oh...and here's the Grammy performance everyone is talking about (and NOT for a good reason).

21221223435 by YardieGoals

Tom Hardy: Jack Ass

2012-02-14T09:06:00.000-05:00

Peep this funny video of director McG and hottie Tom Hardy goofing around on the set of their new spy thriller 'This Means War' (which also stars Reese Witherspoon and Chris Pine). The two decide to pull off a 'Jackass' type stunt by getting shot in the ass with a paintgun.

A) It's FunnyB) Any excuse to see Tom Hardy bare-assed and bent over is VERY welcome imagery.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-14T05:23:00.000-05:00

"Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." -- Reggie Leach

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day Y'all! Presenting a live performance of 'My Funny Valentine' from the late great Sarah Vaughan. This was recorded in 1990, shortly before she passed in that same year. Enjoy.

THAT'S HAWT.

2012-02-13T16:07:00.001-05:00

Peep the brand new pictures of ADELE's March 2012 US Vogue pictoral. Perfect time considering homegirl swept the Grammy Awards last night winning 6 trophies including Album, Record and Song of the Year. We never thought Anna Wintour would put a full-figured gal on the cover; but the times they are a changing and Adele looks phenomenal. LOVE IT, LOVE HER.

YUP, I'M GAY.

2012-02-13T11:41:00.000-05:00

'White Collar' star Matt Bomer ended speculation this weekend by publicly confirming that he's gay. He did so in thanking his partner Simon Halls during an acceptance at the Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards -- where he received an award for his work in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

"I'd really especially like to thank my beautiful family, Simon, Kit, Walker, Henry," he said at Saturday night's event. "Thank you for teaching me what unconditional love is. You will always be my proudest accomplishment."

Kit, Walker and Henry are the couple's children.

Show Me The Receipts Beyonce

2012-02-13T10:50:00.000-05:00

We're still not convinced that Beyonce gave birth to little Blue Ivy Carter; something in the milk ain't clean. And apparently we aren't the only ones cuz someone wen't through the painstaking trouble to creat this BIC conspiracy video...which DOES make sense. We think she had a surrogate and went through all that rigamarole for publicity. Watch...and you may even laugh.

Say WHAT? (Quote of the Day)

2012-02-13T10:15:00.001-05:00

"Change your thoughts and you change your world." -- Norman Vincent Peale

STD (Shot of the Day)

2012-02-13T10:13:00.000-05:00

Because she ruled the Grammy Awards (deservedly so) by having a clean sweep winning the six awards for which she was nominated. My fair lady ADELE takes the spot as today's shot of the day. Presenting the modern classic 'Rolling in the Deep'.

The 2012 Grammy Award Winners List

2012-02-12T23:58:00.001-05:00

Album of the Year
21, Jim Abbiss, Adele, Paul Epworth, Rick Rubin, Fraser T. Smith, Ryan Tedder & Dan Wilson, producers; Jim Abbiss, Philip Allen, Beatriz Artola, Ian Dowling, Tom Elmhirst, Greg Fidelman, Dan Parry, Steve Price, Mark Rankin, Andrew Scheps, Fraser T. Smith & Ryan Tedder, engineers/mixers; Tom Coyne, mastering engineer

Record of the Year
“Rolling In The Deep,” Adele

Best New Artist
Bon Iver

Best Country Album
Own The Night, Lady Antebellum

Song of the Year
“Rolling In The Deep,” Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth, songwriters (Adele)

Best R&B Album
F.A.M.E., Chris Brown

Best Rock Performance
“Walk,” Foo Fighters

Best Rap Performance
“Otis,” Jay-Z and Kayne West

Best Pop Solo Performance
“Someone Like You,” Adele

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
“Body and Soul,” Tony Bennett and Amy Winehouse

Best Pop Instrumental Album
The Road from Memphis, Booker T. Jones

Best Pop Vocal Album
21, Adele

Best Dance Recording
“Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites,” Skrillex

Best Dance/Electronica Album
“Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites,” Skrillex

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
Duets II, Tony Bennett & Various Artists

Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance
“White Limo,” Foo Fighters

Best Rock Song
“Walk,” Foo Fighters

Best Rock Album
Wasting Light, Foo Fighters

Best Alternative Music Album
Bon Iver, Bon Iver

Best R&B Performance
“Is This Love,” Corinne Bailey Rae

Best Traditional R&B Performance
“Fool For You,” Cee Lo Green & Melanie Fiona

Best R&B Song
“Fool For You,” Cee Lo Green, Melanie Hallim, Jack Splash

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
“All Of The Lights,” Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi & Fergie

Best Rap Song
“All Of the Lights,” Jeff Bhasker, Stacy Ferguson, Malik Jones, Warren Trotter & Kanye West

Best Rap Album
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Kanye West

Best Country Solo Performance
“Mean,” Taylor Swift

Best Country Duo/Group Performance
“Barton Hollow,” The Civil Wars

Best Country Song
“Mean,” Taylor Swift

Best New Age Album
What’s It All About, Pat Metheny

Best Improvised Jazz Solo
“500 Miles High,” Chick Corea

Best Jazz Vocal Album
The Mosaic Project, Terri Lyne Carrington & Various Artists

Best Jazz Instrumental Album
Forever, Corea, Clarke & White

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album
The Good Feeling, Christian McBride Big Band

Best Gospel/Contemporary Christian Music
“Jesus,” Le’Andria Johnson

Best Gospel Song
“Hello Fear,” Kirk Franklin

Best Contemporary Christian Music Song
“Blessings,” Laura Story

Best Gospel Album
Hello Fear, Kirk Franklin

Best Contemporary Christian Music Album
And If Our God Is For Us…, Chris Tomlin

Best Latin Pop, Rock, Or Urban Album
Drama Y Luz, Maná

Best Regional Mexian Or Tejano Album
Bicentenario, Pepe Aguilar

Best Banda Or Norteno Album
Los Tigres Del Norte And Friends, Los Tigres Del Norte

Best Tropical Latin Album
The Last Mambo

Best Americana Album
Ramble At the Ryman

Best Bluegrass Album
Paper Airplane, Alison Krauss & Union Station

Best Blues Album
Revelator, Tedeschi Trucks Band

Best Folk Album
The Civil Wars

Best Regional Roots Music Album
Rebirth of New Orleans

Best Raggae Album
Revelation Pt 1: The Root Of Life

Best World Music Album
Tassili, Tinariwen

Best Children’s Album
All About Bullies… Big And Small

Best Spoken Word Album
If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Won’t), Betty White

Best Comedy Album
Hilarious, Louis C.K.

Best Musical Theater Album
The Book of Mormon, Josh Gad & Andrew Rannells; Anne Garefino, Robert Lopez, Stephen Oremus, Trey Parker, Scott Rudin & Matt Stone, producers; Robert Lopez, Trey Parker & Matt Stone, composers/lyricists

Best Compilation Soundtrack For Visual Media
Boardwalk Empire: Volume 1, Various Artists

Best Score Soundtrack For Visual Media
The King’s Speech, Alexandre Desplat

Best Song Written For Visual Media
“I See The Light (From Tangled),” Alan Menken & Glenn Slater, songwriters (Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi)

Best Instrumental Composition
“Live In Eleven,” Béla Fleck & Howard Levy, composers (Béla Fleck & The Flecktones)

Best Instrumental Arrangement
“Rhapsody In Blue,” Gordon Goodwin, arranger (Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band)

Best Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s)
“Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me),” Jorge Calandrelli, arranger (Tony Bennett & Queen Latifah)

Best Recording Package
Scenes From the Suburbs, Caroline Robert, art director (Arcade Fire)

Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package
The Promise: The Darkness On The Edge of Town Story, Dave Bett & Michelle Holme, art directors (Bruce Springsteen)

Best Album Notes
Hear Me Howling!: Blues, Ballads & Beyond As Recorded By the San Francisco Bay By Chris Strachwitz In The 1960s, Adam Machado, album notes writer (Various Artists)

Best Historical Album
Band On the Run (Paul McCartney Archive Collection — Deluxe Edition), Paul McCartney, compilation producer; Sam Okell & Steve Rooke, mastering engineers (Paul McCartney & Wings)

Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical
Paper Airplane, Neal Cappellino & Mike Shipley, engineers; Brad Blackwood, mastering engineer (Alison Krauss & Union Station)

Producer Of the Year, Non-Classical
Paul Epworth

Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical
“Cinema (Skrillex Remix),” Sonny Moore, remixer (Benny Benassi)

Best Surround Sound Album
Layla And Other Assorted Love Songs (Super Deluxe Edition), Elliot Scheiner, surround mix engineer; Bob Ludwig, surround mastering engineer; Bill Levenson & Elliot Scheiner, surround producers (Derek & The Dominos)

Best Engineered Album, Classical
Aldridge: Elmer Gantry, Byeong-Joon Hwang & John Newton, engineers; Jesse Lewis, mastering engineer (William Boggs, Keith Phares, Patricia Risley, Vale Rideout, Frank Kelley, Heather Buck, Florentine Opera Chorus & Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra)

Producer Of the Year, Classical
Judith Sherman

Best Orchestral Performance
“Brahms: Symphony No. 4,” Gustavo Dudamel, conductor (Los Angeles Philharmonic)

Best Opera Recording
“Adams: Doctor Atomic,” Alan Gilbert, conductor; Meredith Arwady, Sasha Cooke, Richard Paul Fink, Gerald Finley, Thomas Glenn & Eric Owens; Jay David Saks, producer (Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; Metropolitan Opera Chorus)

Best Choral Performance
“Light & Gold,” Eric Whitacre, conductor (Christopher Glynn & Hila Plitmann; The King’s Singers, Laudibus, Pavão Quartet & The Eric Whitacre Singers)

Best Small Ensemble Performance
“Mackey: Lonely Motel — Music From Slide,” Rinde Eckert & Steven Mackey; Eighth Blackbird

Best Classical instrument Solo
“Schwantner: Concerto For Percussion & Orchestra,” Giancarlo Guerrero, conductor; Christopher Lamb (Nashville Symphony)

Best Classical Vocal Solo
“Diva Divo,” Joyce DiDonato (Kazushi Ono; Orchestre De L’Opéra National De Lyon; Choeur De L’Opéra National De Lyon)

Best Contemporary Classical Composition
“Aldridge, Robert: Elmer Gantry,” Robert Aldridge & Herschel Garfein

Best Short Form Music Video
“Rolling In The Deep,” Adele; Sam Brown, video director; Hannah Chandler, video producer

Best Long Form Music Video
“Foo Fighters: Back And Forth,” Foo Fighters; James Moll, video director; James Moll & Nigel Sinclair, video producers

Grammy Trustees Award
Dave Bartholomew, Steve Jobs, and Rudy Van Gelder

LIVE Blogging the 2012 Grammy Awards

2012-02-12T20:10:00.002-05:00

8:00
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band opens the Grammys. Bruce is looking quite youthful ain't he?

8:05
A prayer and tribute for the dearly departed music legend Whitney Houston

8:10
Bruno Mars is giving us Vegas glamour, gold AND a pompadour. What he isn't giving us is a good song.

8:20
Twenty minutes in, and we have our second pompadour of the night courtesy of Alicia Keys...and a seemingly ageless Bonnie Rait (LOVE HER) in a tribue to Etta James. "A Sunday Kinda Love" is right.

8:23
Alicia Keys' voice seems to get better and better...ps. 23 minutes in and we're JUST getting to our first award

8:24
The Best Pop Vocal Performance Grammy goes to ADELE for 'Someone Like You'

8:25
Oh, Chris Douchebag Brown is on, we'll be changing the channel now. Holla Black when he's off

8:29
....and we're back now that his bitch ass is off the stage.

8:35
On a side note - for the first time in years Lady Gaga is NOT the talk of the town or the awards. She's still trying to make "catch" happen with that damn fishnet and pole though

8:36
Fergie is serving up a Halloween nightmare of an outfit....AND she's flanked by Marc Skeletor Anthony. Jesus Cristo. The present the award for Best Rap Song to Jay Z & Kanye ...neither of whom are in da house

8:37
A seemingly ageless Reba McEntire (love her) introduces Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean performing on one of the sets from HUGO. We're giving Kelly props for not looking like a school marm for once, but you need a better set of boobs to pull off that frock

8:45
We're at minute 45... and only 2 awards have been handed out on air. Just Sayin!

8:47
STFU Jack Black...It's time for the Foo Fighters (one of our favorite bands) to turn this mutha out

8:56
Coldplay and Rihanna take the stage to perform 'Princess of China'. That's HAWT.

9:00
RiRi brought it! And now we're feeling her "Princess of China" duet with Coldplay. LOVE this song...which leads right into 'Paradise'

9:05
so ummmm, 1 hour, 5 minutes and still only 2 awards presented on air

9:06
Chris Martin is thinking right now how he's gonna say to Gwyneth Paltro 'I Quit This Bitch'

9:07
methinks the dog and I will go potty break the second Taylor Swifterwetjet "SQUINTS" her way onto stage

9:11
Some ho and two hot NFL players present the Foo Fighters with the Grammy for Best Rock Performance for the song 'Walk'

9:17
Entertainment's favorite unicorn, Ryan Secrest blah blah blah Beach ~~Men~~ Boys, Maroon 5, Foster the People and background visuals that make me feel like I'm doing shrooms....no really.

9:19
i've seen that look in the eyes of Foster the People's lead singer at around 5 am in da club...bitch looks like he just got out of a K Hole

9:22
A whole lotta granny panties just got launched at television sets across America now that the Beach Boys are singing. This will be followed by commercials for Viagra and Zestral.

9:24
Only like 2 people on that stage are lucid and most took the placebo pill for their incontinence medication. just sayin!

9:30
another living legend takes the stage, Stevie Wonder (HEEEEYYYYYYY) to introduce Sir Paul McCartney and Diana Krall. The odd sound you heard in the background was the sound of security tackling his gold digging peg-legged ex-wife from trying to rush the stage cuz he missed an alimony payment.

9:35
Dear Common, You can be my baby daddy. You lose points for having to present the Best R&B Album Grammy to Chris Douchebag Brown. Shit IS Brown and we really wanna smack that bitch's teeth.

9:38
We don't know if the north or south is winning THIS Civil War

9:40
And just like that Taylor Swifterwetjet squints onto the stage in my granny's curtains. Channel change.

9:45
Swift's Squint-a-thon 2012 is over, next up we have Strawberry ShortKaty Perry in one of her marzipan getups.

9:51
Doogie Howser (and it stays) presents the award for Song of the Year to Adele for 'Rolling in the Deep' . Tonight's ADELE tally is now 4 Grammys

9:53
Kate Beckinsale must have thought the invitation said TOGA Party. She introduces Katy Perry and who kicks off her performance with 'E.T.' Go Home. But no, not her, she segues into her new single 'Part of Me'

9:56
am I the only one who feels like they're watching a 'GAGA' performance? the fire, the choreography, the costumes....

9:58
There's like hundred Country Music Awards shows on every year, but let's present the Grammy for Best Country Music Album to Lady Antebellum. Shocker - Taylor Swifterwetjet got served.

9:59
That girl from Lady Antebellum is always in the middle. Their next single should be called 'No Penis Between Us'

10:05
Gwyneth Paltrow (looking great) introduces ADELE. Get on your feet. She looks and sounds great...we ARE rolling.

10:10
YES GIRL! You owned that stage...and the audience. Glorious performance and a long rousing standing ovation. So happy for her.

10:16
Squinty is back an ill-fitting bedazzled frock that reminds me of the 'She's Your Queen To Be' scene in 'Coming to America'. For a dress so loud, and a girl so bland I can't tell where one ends and the other begins. Think we're lying? check this out:

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp&amp;lt;iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xolh0s_21221223435_lifestyle"&amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;
21221223435 by YardieGoals;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;Carrie Underwood is giving beauty pageant / 'Ru Paul's Drag Race' GLA MORE....and she's joined on stage by the legendary Tony Bennettamp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;1019 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10:19
A tribute to Glen Campbell, recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award. Rhinestones and sequins and glitter oh my! Needs more cowbell.

10:25
so Chris ShitBrown get's TWO performances tonight? Hell to the N O

10:29
Carrie Underwood is giving beauty pageant / 'Ru Paul's Drag Race' GLA MORE...and she's joined on stage by the legendary Tony Bennett to perform a duet of 'It Had To Be You'. GORGEOUS.
I'm expecting Carrie to have on Gaga's mermaid fins on under that dress.

10:35Carrie and Tony present Bon Iver with the Best New Artist Grammy. He is uncomfortable, Nicki Minaj is distraught. They should split a Xanax.

Dear Bon Iver, you MIGHT wanna wear something with a bit more 'get up and go' to the Grammys. I've seen better dressed homeless people

10:38
Blah Blah Blah, Yada Yada Yada. Musicares. Something Something Dark Side.

10:39
Here comes the DEATH SCROLL. Who will get the most applause? Who's popularest?

10:42
Jennifer Hudson caps off the 'Memorial' section by singing 'I Will Always Love You' in tribute to Whitney Houston. She sounds amazing and looks equally as such. SHE ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT. STANDING OVATION.

10:51
Chris ShitBrown is back to perform with David Guetta and DeadMaus. Where's a bus when you need one? He's not even singing. The jig is up you douche!

10:55
We're guessing all those girls cheering for Chris ShitBrown were told they were waving glowsticks when in fact they were tasers to keep his ass in check

11:05
Nicki Minaj hits the stage to do something theatrical...it starts off with what seems like yodeling...with a little Exorcism mixed in there ....and this fuckery right here is exactly why you didn't win Best New Artist

11:12
Adele wins her 5th Grammy of the night with 'Rolling in the Deep' securing the award for 'Record of the Year'...she is now tied with Lauryn Hill, Nora Jones, Amy Winehouse, Alicia Keys and Allison Kraus for 5 Grammys in 1 night, one more win and she will tie Beyonce for the most by a woman in 1 night

11:19
Diana Ross takes the stage. We love her, but she should have left that dress in Bellatrix Lastrange's closet. She presents the 'Album of the Year' Grammy to Adele for 21. YES YES YESSSSS!
6 NOMINATIONS, 6 WINS.
CONGRATULATIONS MYLADY.

11:23
Sir Paul McCartney wraps up the show with some classic Beatles tunes. We Likey.

That's a wrap folks. Hope you enjoyed blogging with us.

Is This Bitch Serious?: Part 2

2012-02-12T20:04:00.001-05:00

So ummm, this is the outfit Nicki Minaj chose to wear on the Grammy Awards red carpet tonight. The outfit even comes complete with an accessory...a Pope. Cuz you know that a pope goes with EVERYTHING. I blame Lady Gaga for bringing this level of Halloween fuckery into the mainstream. You just know one of these days, some dizzy attention starved ho is gonna wear a semen stained pattern dress.

Is This Bitch Serious?

2012-02-12T19:38:00.002-05:00

THIS is what Fergie chose to wear (or not wear) to the Grammy Awards tonight. She needs to put that bronzer dyed shit back on my grandmother's endtable because it is NOT a look.

Maybe He's A Gay?

2012-02-12T13:47:00.001-05:00

This groom has a case of the nerves, food poisoning or the gays, because he can't quite make it through the wedding.
Giggity Giggity.